The Shy Child (página 2)

Partes: 1, 2

Why Are Some Children
More Shy than Others?

Some children are naturally shy: they are more likely
than other children to react to new social situations with shy
behavior. Even these children, however, may show shyness only in
certain kinds of social encounters. Researchers have implicated
both nurture and nature in these individual
differences.

Some aspects of shyness are learned. Children's cultural
background and family environment offer models of social
behavior. Chinese children in day care have been found to be more
socially reticent than Caucasians and Swedish children report
more social discomfort than Americans. Some parents, by labeling
their children as shy, appear to encourage a self- fulfilling
prophecy; Adults may cajole coyly shy children into social
interaction, thus reinforcing shy behavior (Zimbardo and Radl,
1981).

There is growing evidence of a hereditary or
temperamental basis for some variations of dispositional shyness.
In fact, heredity may play a larger part in shyness than in any
other personality trait (Daniels and Plomin, 1985). Adoption
studies can predict shyness in adopted children from the
biological mother's sociability. Extremely inhibited children
show physiological differences from uninhibited children,
including higher and more stable heart rates. From ages 2 to 5,
the most inhibited children continue to show reticent behavior
with new peers and adults (Reznick and others, 1986). Patterns of
social passivity or inhibition are remarkably consistent in
longitudinal studies of personality development.

Despite this evidence, most researchers emphasize that
genetic influences probably account for only a small proportion
of self-labeled shyness. Even hereditary predispositions can be
modified. Adopted children do acquire some of the adoptive
parents' social styles (Daniels and Plomin, 1985), and extremely
inhibited toddlers sometimes become more socially comfortable
through their parents' efforts (Reznick and others,
1986).

When Is Shyness a
Problem?

Shyness can be a normal, adaptive response to
potentially overwhelming social experience. By being somewhat
shy, children can withdraw temporarily and gain a sense of
control.
Generally, as children gain experience with unfamiliar people,
shyness wanes. In the absence of other difficulties, shy children
have not been found to be significantly at-risk for psychiatric
or behavior problems (Honig, 1987). In contrast, children who
exhibit extreme shyness which is neither context-specific nor
transient may be at some risk.

Such children may lack social skills or have poor
self-images (Sarafinio, 1986). Shy children have been found to be
less competent at initiating play with peers. School-age children
who rate themselves as shy tend to like themselves less and
consider themselves less friendly and more passive than their
non-shy peers (Zimbardo and Radl, 1981). Such factors negatively
affect others' perceptions. Zimbardo reports that shy people are
often judged by peers to be less friendly and likeable than
non-shy people. For all these reasons, shy children may be
neglected by peers, and have few chances to develop social
skills. Children who continue to be excessively shy into
adolescence and adulthood describe themselves as being more
lonely, and having fewer close friends and relationships with
members of the opposite sex, than their peers.

Strategies for
Helping a Shy Child

Know and Accept the Whole
Child. Being sensitive to the child's interests
and feelings will allow you to build a relationship with the
child and show that you respect the child. This can make the
child more confident and less inhibited.
Build Self-Esteem. Shy
children may have negative self-images and feel that they will
not be accepted. Reinforce shy children for demonstrating
skills and encourage their autonomy. Praise them often.
"Children who feel good about themselves are not likely to be
shy" (Sarafino, 1986, p. 191).
Develop Social Skills.
Reinforce shy children for social behavior, even if it is
only parallel play. Honig (1987) recommends teaching children
"social skill words" ("Can I play, too?") and role playing
social entry techniques. Also, opportunities for play with
young children in one-on-0one situations may allow shy children
to become more assertive (Furman, Rahe, and Hartup, 1979). Play
with new groups of peers permits shy children to make a fresh
start and achieve a higher peer status.
Allow the Shy Child to Warm Up to New
Situations. Pushing a child into a situation which
he or she sees as threatening is not likely to help the child
build social skill. Help the child feel secure and provide
interesting materials to lure him or her into social
interactions (Honig, 1987).
Remember That Shyness Is Not All
Bad. Not every child needs to be the focus of
attention. Some qualities of shyness, such as modesty and
reserve, are viewed as positive (Jones, Cheek, and Briggs,
1986). As long as a child does not seem excessively
uncomfortable or neglected around others, drastic interventions
are not necessary.